


Symbolic

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Post-TROS Fics [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Lives, Devotion, Established Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Mind Control, M/M, Past Mind Control, Post-Canon, Symbolism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:28:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29731818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Ben choosing the color of his new lightsaber has at least something to do with Poe.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Post-TROS Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2175555
Kudos: 2
Collections: Allbingo, Bad Day Collection





	Symbolic

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Tart Orange 
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

He needs a new lightsaber after the one he threw into Kef Bir’s oceans.   
  
Choosing the color of his lightsaber isn’t easy. Ben knows that much. Even as he looks over the kyber crystals that they managed to get from Dantooine (they would have gone to Ilum, if Ilum wasn’t a star of its own now), he is glad that, at least, he has a variety to choose from.   
  
Green doesn’t do well. Even touching the green crystal, he feels the lightsaber crackling against his skin, the almost blinding green light illuminating a face of Luke’s that now, he knows, was Luke breaking free of mind control.  
  
Green. It’s the color of near-death, and the death of everything. Maybe someone else will have a use for it.   
  
***  
  
“You’re overanalyzing just the use of a lightsaber crystal,” Rey says wryly.   
  
Ben sighs. “Some of the colors don’t bring back easy memories. Green, for example. I know now my uncle didn’t hate me, but...”  
  
“Ben,” Rey says softly. “Our family could never hate you.”  
  
 _Our family._ So she was starting to accept both sides of herself. How Palpatine tied the Skywalker and Palpatine lineages together by creating Anakin. She was starting to come to grips with her grandfather’s violence.   
  
“I wasted so much time thinking that,” Ben says.   
  
”You didn’t know.”  
  
Rey hugs him. It’s nice, Ben thinks, having a still-living family member hug him.  
  
“You deserve happiness, Ben,” she says.   
  
“So do you.”  
  
They all do.   
  
***  
  
Poe comes in later, hugs Ben just because he can. Ben’s heard whispers of their relationship being “favoritism” and “Ben just got to redemption on his back”, and the comments sting. He doesn’t know if it’s for himself or for Poe. Poe, who people somehow doubt just because he trusts and believes in Ben. (And for other things. People think they know Poe when they really don’t)  
  
“Rey says you had a bit of a rough time,” he says. “That you remembered that night.”  
  
“It’s okay,” Ben says. “I just...won’t use the color green. It’s disrespectful to my uncle too. It’s like I’m...repurposing his trauma for my own gain. How he was mind-controlled and then lost his whole Academy.”  
  
Poe nods. “I can see that."  
  
***  
  
Yellow looks too much like someone peed in the crystal. Even when Ben was training under Luke, he found yellow crystals disgusting. Blue brings back too many painful memories. Maybe he could use silver, symbolic of a fresh start —  
  
It strikes Ben later that the color of the things that have made him happy are orange.  
  
Poe’s orange pilot uniform, as godsawful a color as it is on him, reminds him of Poe. Ergo, it makes him happy. He thinks of BB-8, orange and white, and how attached Poe got to him.   
  
Orange. It’s a shade away from red, a complementary color to blue. A blend of both, but more importantly, something that inspires Ben and makes him think of happiness. The utmost.   
  
***  
  
He builds his lightsaber. Ignites the orange blade. It looks beautiful, like a burning sun. Maybe it’s also what Ben wants to be to others. A burning sun.   
  
***  
  
“Why orange?” Poe says, softly, when Ben tells him.  
  
“It means you,” Ben says. “That uniform you wear at times. Or wore.”  
  
Poe snorts. “I haven’t worn that uniform in a long time, Ben."  
  
“But it was you.” Ben has to admit Poe looks good in white too. And that splash of black with the scarf...  
  
No, it’s probably a coincidence that Poe’s wearing a black scarf. Nothing extraordinary. Nothing important. Even if it does resemble some of the scarves Ben wore in his Kylo days.   
  
"You make me happier than I’ve been in a long time,” Ben says. “I love you, Poe. I decided to, at least, incorporate something I loved in this lightsaber. You seemed fitting.”  
  
Poe’s smile could almost be a burning sun in and of itself. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you doing these things. Saying you love me.”  
  
“I’ll help you." Then, “Does it work?”  
  
Poe grins again, radiant, dazzling. “It does.”


End file.
